This Is Called A Penis
by Lord Windsor
Summary: Axel, Roxas, and Xion on the clock tower on vacation day. Short one-shot. This is what happens when Nobodies experiment sexually - it turns out to be just like any other dumb thing they'd do on any other day.


**Author's Note: Something actually light-hearted compared to that other heavy crap. Whoa, what is that, actual dialogue?! This is written very un-flowery because it's Xion's POV and...her mind is very un-flowery, I guess! That, and I'm not in the most eloquent mood lately.  
This is really not meant to be taken seriously at all. It's just a random drabble, and I have the most out-there sense of humor. **

Wondering what her friends were up to on a lonely Vacation day, Xion climbed the clock tower of Twilight Town. At the top, the two of them sat predictably, and Xion found that Axel's hand was in Roxas's lap.

She came up behind them just as she heard Roxas speaking to Axel in a blank, curious tone.

"Okay. Now what?"

"And these are called the balls because they're shaped like balls, see. Pretty clever ideas lurking down there."

"Whoa." Roxas straightened as though an odd feeling was passing up his body.

"Yeah, it's nifty."

Xion sat down beside Roxas and held out ice cream. "What are you two up to?" she asked the two with a polite smile.

Roxas turned to her and took the ice cream, smiling back. "Axel's just teaching me a thing or two about…uh…"

Axel nudged Roxas and sighed, asking if he'd already forgotten everything. He took the other ice cream and bit down on it.

"Oh, no, I remember. Nipples, a penis, an ass, and balls. Right, Axel?"

"You got it, kid."

Xion giggled, not understanding the vocabulary but feeling like it would fly right over her head anyway. She threw Axel an admiring look. "You know everything, Axel."

The three of them shared a chuckle into the sunset as Axel agreed with a nod.

There was a mutual silence as they all contentedly ate their ice cream, Axel's hand diving back into Roxas's lap.

Roxas was a ice cream sucker, which meant, as far as Xion knew, that he didn't bite or lick his ice cream, he just glued his lips around it and sucked all the juice away.

Meanwhile Xion was a casual licker. She licked to wait for the ice cream to start to melt, and then she'd lap all the drips up from around the base.

Axel said he had the best tactic. He still concluded that Roxas and Xion would do pretty well in bed, to which Roxas responded with a snort: "You would know! You're always sleeping!" And the three shared another best friend laugh.

Xion glanced down at Axel's hand, then glanced up at Roxas who had a serene expression on his face. She asked Axel what his hand was doing down there, and Roxas's lips popped off his ice cream to answer.

"Axel's massaging my penis, Xion."

Xion's nose scrunched up, and she scooted a bit closer to Roxas, feeling a little left out.

"Axel," she asked and licked all the falling ice cream drips, "do you think you could do that to my penis too?" After all, Roxas's face suggested that it felt good, and Xion had just endured a hard mission against a hard heartless - her body needed to be relaxed.

A snort came from Axel, and he reached over to pat Xion's thigh in an apologetic way although his eyes were bright and amused. "You don't have a penis for me to rub, Xion. But if you want, I could teach you some things about your body too."

Roxas smiled at both of them, loving his friends. He nodded at Axel's idea, and said it would be good for Xion's expanding knowledge of the world. He pointed to Axel's other side, suggesting that she sit there.

Xion did so with haste, dropping her stick over the edge as she finished with her ice cream. Grinning at Axel, she smoothed down her jacket over her lap and waited.

Axel looked up at the sky in a strange way, closing his eyes briefly, as though he was thanking someone who lived in the clouds. He chuckled and reached his hand over.

"All right, pay attention."

Xion straightened up and exchanged a happy glance with Roxas.

"This is called a vagina."

Xion ooh'd and tittered softly.

Roxas suggested from Axel's other side that he should show Xion her balls because those felt the best. Axel scolded Roxas, telling him not to interrupt the teacher.

"Xion doesn't have balls, Roxas. She's a girl, so she's different down there."

His comment made Xion frown and look at the ground, feeling suddenly isolated from her two friends. Was she really that different down there? Was she a freak? She sighed in a ho-hum way.

Axel continued with his lesson. "This is called a clit," he said, pressing down on it with his finger.

Not only did Xion ooh and aah, but she also let an embarrassing little moan escape. She stared wide-eyed at Roxas, and Roxas stared wide-eyed back at her. She apologized to Axel, saying she meant that little noise in the best possible way. It felt good, she promised!

"Want me to do it again?"

She very quickly shook her head. No more embarrassing little noises from her.

"Well then." He withdrew his hand, saying that was all she really needed to know about her nethers.

"But Axel…!" Roxas protested as Xion's face fell. "Isn't there…anything else you can do?"

Axel redirected all his attention back to Roxas. "Sorry, Rox. Xion. I'm a man of adventure, not a man of science. And my specialty is a penis. Maybe you should ask Vexen, Xion. He'd know what to tell you."

Roxas frowned, but he didn't speak up again, both of Axel's hands soothing him once more.

Xion stood up, thanking Axel.

"Yeah…Vexen, huh?"

"Or maybe Larxene. Ask them both, got it?"

Xion smiled as Roxas smiled. She nodded and all three of them looked once more at the sunset. "Got it, Axel."

She loved her best friends.


End file.
